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Getting Past Perfect

Getting Past Perfect

How to Find Joy and Grace in the Messiness of Motherhood 

Author: Kate Wicker

Foreword by: Rachel Balducci

Afterword by: Lisa M. Hendey

Price: $15.95

Format: Paperback

Pages: 160

Trim size: 5.5 x 8.5 inches

ISBN: 978-1-59471-716-1

Imprint: Ave Maria Press

On-sale date: March 3, 2017

More Family and Parenting, Personal Growth, Small-Group Resources, Spirituality, Women's Spirituality


Winner of a 2018 Catholic Press Association Award: Family Life. (Second Place).


With honesty, humor, and practical wisdom, Getting Past Perfect helps moms overcome Pinterest-inspired perfectionism by replacing your deepest fears and anxieties with a steady trust in God and the freedom to love authentically.

If you have ever felt that you were not "enough" as a wife or mom, or if you're someone who struggles to do it all, Getting Past Perfect offers a realistic and reassuring portrait of Catholic womanhood, placing motherhood in the context of every woman's primary role as a child of God.

Kate Wicker—journalist, popular speaker, and author of the highly-acclaimed Weightless—shares how she shook off doubt and negative self-perception, finding self-acceptance as a mom and the desire to stop controlling everyone around her. Getting Past Perfect invites you to make this same journey as you learn to embrace the primacy of your role as a daughter of God, even amidst the daily chaos of raising children. Each chapter is designed to debunk the lies and expectations that moms often face, replacing negative self-perceptions with the truths of a woman's true calling.

Wicker, a recovering perfectionist, helps you realize:

  • It is perfectly normal to feel like you're in over your head sometimes.
  • You can stop obsessing about what other people think and start focusing on loving yourself and your kids just as you are.
  • Your primary jobs are to let God love you and to love him back. Nurture your prayer life and make time to remember that you are first a daughter of God.
  • It’s important to practice self-care no matter your stage in life.

Wicker openly shares how she unwittingly transferred her preoccupation with having the perfect body to being the perfect parent. By honestly sharing her mistakes and triumphs in the trenches of motherhood, Wicker reveals several common falsehoods mothers tell themselves in different seasons of their lives and how speaking the truth can liberate women to become better parents and the truest versions of themselves.  Whether you're dealing with endless "why?" questions, unexpected potty emergencies, or even the unanticipated change of a new pregnancy, Getting Past Perfect will help you learn how to lean into God's abiding grace. By closing each chapter with a simple reflection question and prayer, this book provides the tools you need to embrace the messy realities of family life and to emerge from feeling overwhelmed to knowing that you are first and foremost a daughter of God. 


"A gem of a book."

"For every mom who struggles and wonders if she’s the only one, Kate Wicker is a sorely needed voice of humor, realism, wisdom, and encouragement. Learn to let go, get past perfect, and let this gem of a book soothe your weary soul!"

Danielle Bean
Publisher of Catholic Digest and author of Small Steps for Catholic Moms

"I fell in love with it."

"From the moment I cracked open this book, I fell in love with it. Kate Wicker captures the beautiful, painful reality of motherhood perfectly as she guides those fortunate enough to read her words on a journey to discover the peace that surpasses all understanding. This book is a must read for all mothers and those who love them."

Hallie Lord
SiriusXM radio host and author of On the Other Side of Fear

"It’s all about trust in Christ."

"This book reminds us that each one of us is called to be the best mom we can be, embracing our imperfections along the way. It’s all about trust in Christ."

From the foreword by Rachel Balducci
Catholic journalist, author, and cohost of The Gist

"A myth buster on motherhood."

"Kate Wicker is a myth buster on motherhood. Taking on many false truths Catholic moms hold dear, she unveils the unvarnished grace of the muddled and beautiful vocation of Catholic motherhood. This book is a must read for all Catholic women, whether they are mothers in body or in spirit."

Mary Lenaburg
Catholic writer, blogger, and speaker

"Reading this book is like having a cup of tea with a new friend!"

"'Bloom right where you're planted.' That's what you’ll want to do after reading Wicker's book about motherhood, friendship, and how to grow closer to Christ. Learn how to avoid being a martyr mom and how to work on your ‘momraderie.’ Reading this book is like having a cup of tea with a new friend!"

Sterling Jaquith
Catholic blogger and author of Catholic Mom Challenge

"A best friend, cheerleader, and spiritual director right at your fingertips."

"Getting Past Perfect will make you feel like you have a best friend, cheerleader, and spiritual director right at your fingertips. Kate Wicker does an outstanding job of empathizing with the daily rigors of motherhood while celebrating the triumphs and encouraging spiritual growth. A must read for all new, sort of new, and seasoned moms!"

Grace Patton
Catholic blogger

"Funny, insightful, and genuinely honest."

"In Getting Past Perfect, author Kate Wicker brings candid vulnerability, humor, and wisdom to her observations about the vocation that simultaneously wrecks and builds, breaks and heals, flattens and sanctifies. Feeling discouraged? Read this book. Funny, insightful, and genuinely honest, Kate Wicker gives moms permission to face the negative messages that threaten our sanity while encouraging us to become the best version of ourselves. I am so grateful for this book and know it will be a blessing for many other moms in the trenches."

Heather Renshaw
Catholic author, radio host, and founder of Catholic Women Rejoice

"A convincing case for motherhood as an imperfect science."

"This book is a friendly antidote for mothers and their sympathizers struggling with delusions of inadequacy. With edgy wit and frank, personal testimony, Kate Wicker makes a convincing case for motherhood as an imperfect science—which, she persuades her readers, is exactly as God intended it."

Peggy Normandin
Host of EWTN’s Call Me Catholic

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Kate Wicker on At Home with Jim and Joy on EWTN