Ave Explore Series

The Latest

Tuesday, April 08, 2025

Learning from Our Lady to Live with Grief

by Mary Lenaburg At 1:51 a.m. on December 27, 2014, my beautiful, twenty-two year old daughter Courtney took her last breath on earth. After a lifetime of daily seizures that led to profound disabilities and a myriad of other health issues, she had finished her race, and God decided it was time for her to come home. She was at peace and finally in the arms of her beloved Jesus. In one breath, my world came apart. Nothing looked or sounded the same. In an instant, my husband, son, and I were completely overwhelmed by our grief for this beautiful soul who had been such a huge part of our world. Courtney was the heart of our home and the sun in our universe. Everything moved around her and what her needs were for any given day. For twenty-two years that’s how our family worked. Until it didn’t. In the beginning, the depth of my grief was so consuming I struggled to function in my daily life. The tears were constant and my body felt like I had been beaten up. I couldn’t sleep. I had no appetite. I tried to control the mental and emotional pain and the negative spiritual narrative that was on repeat in my head, but I failed time and time again. I was mad at God for taking her and leaving me behind. I was lost and had no idea where to turn. As a faithful Catholic, I was relieved for my daughter that her suffering was over and that she was safely home. But I was still here. I could not imagine how I was supposed to move through this hellish valley. All I felt was pain, and I didn’t have any idea how I was going to survive it all. I went to a grief support group once. I felt the weight of every parent’s grief in that room. I didn’t get out of bed for three days afterward. I spoke with a grief counselor but found it to be too traumatic to relive the details of my daughter’s death or expose my pain with someone I did not know well. I knew I had to find another way to cope When you love so deeply, the grief of that loss is deeper still. Grief is fickle and unpredictable. It felt like I had stepped on a bear trap in the middle of the woods. There was instant, intense physical pain, emotional fear, and the feeling that everything was lost. There was panic and then exhaustion—rinse, repeat; rinse repeat. I found that church was one of the few places where I felt some respite from the weight of my grief. About three months after Courtney’s death, I was at Mass and the choir sang Hail Mary, Gentle Woman, which happened to be the song I most often sang to my daughter during times of distress. I looked up and my eyes settled on our parish’s reproduction of the Pieta in a side chapel. I could not take my eyes from Our Lady. The look on her face was complete peace. I wanted that peace. I realized that I could not escape the pain of Courtney’s death. Our Lady did not escape the pain of her Son’s death; she stood faithfully by his side and loved him all the way through. She trusted God’s plan for her life and never questioned. It was not an easy road, but she walked in faith and complete peace that all would be well. She said “yes” time and time again: in the garden, on the day of his birth, at the Wedding of Cana, and, finally, at the foot of the Cross. Our Lady did not despair. She clung to the hope of the Resurrection and the promise of an eternity spent with God. She kept her eyes toward heaven and the joy and peace waiting for us there. In that moment, I had my answer. I had to give my own fiat. I had to choose hope for myself just as she had. My perspective changed that day. When the grief came, I would sit in that pain, allow it to penetrate every part of me, and slowly learn to breathe around it. Eventually, the pain of remaining in that space was greater than the thought of pushing through it and choosing to live a full life again. I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I realized that it was my choice to either sit in pain or walk toward love. I had to walk through it to let go of what I thought would be and accept what was. I had to face the pain, the grief, and the uncertainty of where my life would go, and then choose hope and to trust God in his infinite wisdom. I had to start living out what I said I believed as a Catholic: that death does not win. Grief no longer swallows me whole. It is a part of my story, like a scar remains after surgery. I found outlets to assist me when I get that weighty feeling in the pit of my stomach and the sadness comes. I speak to my spiritual director on a regular basis about the void my daughter left in my heart. He helps me to see things with an eternal perspective. I find support in close friends who allow me to share about Courtney freely and without making me feel like I am a burden to them. I write letters to my daughter, telling her of the lessons she taught and the legacy of love she left behind. I find consolation in my faith, spending time in Adoration pouring out my heart and my hurt to the One who gave me the gift of my daughter in the first place. It is a daily choice to look for the joy, to seek the hope that God has everything well in hand, and to accept the peace and consolation that is only his to give. Download this article as a PDF here. Mary Lenaburg is a Catholic speaker and author of Be Brave in the Scared. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you're having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). If you are located outside the United States, call your local emergency line immediately. With the help of professionals and those who have struggled with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues, we’re offering insights, resources, and suggestions for a path to healing and a road to hope in the midst of dark and scary times.

Tuesday, April 08, 2025

Does Faith Offer a Path Out of Anxiety?

by Allison Ricciardi Feeling overwhelmed is a common complaint these days. Let’s face it, being overwhelmed goes hand-in-hand with anxiety. The sheer volume of things that come at us on a daily basis is simply staggering. With managing the many duties of work and family life, endless noise, and the pressure of social media, it’s no wonder antianxiety drugs are the most commonly prescribed medications in America. But what about when anxiety is more than simply being overwhelmed, when those ruminating thoughts keep you up at night, or when attempting even simple things can cause unbearable distress? In our fast-paced culture, living the affirming, peaceful, and leisurely life that is most consistent with our human nature is hard to do. God designed us in his image—to rest on the seventh day. I don’t have to tell you how few of us do that. This frantic pace, this race to keep up with the Joneses—or today, the Kardashians—leaves us little room to process and make sense of our feelings. The emotional bumps, bruises, and traumas of life get swept into the vortex of our busy lives. And there’s the problem: Feelings have a pesky way of affecting us, even when we’ve buried them deeply. We find ourselves unable to make sense of the anxiety and depression that has become our “normal.” The first step to conquering anxiety is to recognize it for what it is, the emotion of fear run amok—fear that has overflowed its banks and gone beyond reason. Instead of evaluating options and making rational decisions, fear takes the lead and invariably leads us to make worse decisions that provoke more anxiety. The second step is to make friends with all of your emotions and realize that God intended each one, even fear and anger, to have a rightful place in your psyche. In order to be healthy and free of anxiety you need to experience your emotions and then guide how you express or act on them by reason. Feeling and identifying your emotions is key and that takes some quiet time, prayer, and reflection. Continuing in a frantic pace won’t afford you the opportunity for real and lasting healing. You have to do something differently if you want your life to change. The next step is to tune into your thoughts. Many assert that it’s thoughts that drive our feelings and that’s true to some extent, but our feelings actually precede our thoughts. Thoughts arise as we try to make sense of our feelings and that’s where the trouble can really ratchet up. There’s a great acronym associated with fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. Discerning reality is what’s needed. Talking to someone objective such as a therapist can be very helpful in sorting out the confusion and getting a healthier perspective. Much of what drives anxiety is a tendency to get stuck focusing on the past or the future. Regrets over past sins or decisions, lack of forgiveness for wrongs we’ve suffered, and worry about the future are the frequent foundation of many anxiety disorders. Unresolved and untreated trauma has been demonstrated more and more to be a culprit for many suffering anxiety and depression. And a trauma does not have to be a huge event such as the 9-11 attacks, but instead can be any experience that overwhelms your ability to cope and that has an element of inescapability. Growing up in a violent or alcoholic home would certainly qualify, especially because a child’s coping abilities are less developed and they cannot escape the situation on their own. These events get glued in a part of the brain that can be triggered easily when similar circumstances are experienced. Sadly, that explains why talking about current stressors isn’t enough sometimes. The original trauma needs to be identified, healed, and deactivated. Psychology and medication are not the only therapies that offer real relief. Faith can also offer a path to healing. Talking things out with a therapist can be helpful and medication may ease a percentage of your symptoms, but may not always bring permanent healing. In order to be healthy, you need to be living in the present and in touch with reality. Prayer opens the conversation with the Eternal Now, the Triune God who is outside of time and space. Prayer puts you firmly in contact with The Eternal Reality, the Great I Am and that is the beginning of sanity. Praying through anxiety can be tricky. When anxious, our tendency is to favor prayers of petition which can become a reinforcement of your fears as you repeat them over and over. Prayer must be more of a listening endeavor to conquer anxiety. Reading and meditating on scripture, spending time with Jesus before the blessed sacrament, and meditating on the Rosary are powerful antidotes to anxiety and fear. By inviting God into the troubling events of your past and asking him to apply his graces and healing can be powerful moments that free you from years of distress. Seeing his actions throughout history in the scriptures can reassure you that he has a perfect plan and that he uses evil ultimately for good. There’s nothing lurking in your future that he can’t help you to handle. It all begins with a conversation. Download this article as a PDF here. Allison Ricciardi is a licensed mental health counselor in New York and has been practicing since 1990. In 2001, Allison founded Catholictherapists.com. She is also the director of The Raphael Remedy, which offers counseling, coaching, and wellness support from an authentically Catholic perspective. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you're having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). If you are located outside the United States, call your local emergency line immediately. With the help of professionals and those who have struggled with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues, we’re offering insights, resources, and suggestions for a path to healing and a road to hope in the midst of dark and scary times.

Tuesday, April 08, 2025

Catholicism and Death by Suicide

by Deacon Ed Shoener My daughter Katie died from suicide on August 3, 2016, at the age of 29 after an eleven-year struggle with bipolar disorder. She was one of more than 46,000 people who died from suicide in the United States in 2016. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the country. If today is a typical day in the United States, 129 people will die from suicide. Pray for them and their families. Death by suicide is sudden, often violent, and frequently comes at the end of a long and difficult struggle with a mental illness. Heaped on top of that is the social stigma that comes with mental illness and suicide. As a result, families are in shock and burdened with shame. It is an intense suffering that cries out for the healing presence of Christ, his Church, and his ministers. There has been much commentary recently about the rise in suicide rates in the United States. While there have been fluctuations, the suicide rate is about the same today as it was a hundred years ago, according to The Harvard Review. In 2017, the suicide rate was 14 per 100,000 people; in 1914, it was 16 per 100,000. Despite treatment and research, suicide has persisted as a major cause of death for more than a century. “We have seen the rates of death from heart disease and HIV plummet over time. Not so for suicide. The simple reason suicide has been neglected for so long is stigma,” Richard A. Friedman a professor of clinical psychiatry at Cornell, wrote in The New York Times. “But suicide is a medical problem that is almost always associated with several common and treatable mental illnesses, like depression, anxiety, and impulse and substance abuse disorders. It is estimated that more than 90 percent of those who die by suicide have a diagnosable mental disorder.” I agree with professor Friedman’s proclamation that “We should declare war on suicide—just as we’ve done with other public health threats like HIV and heart disease—and give it the research and clinical funding needed to beat it.” When people ask me how we can help those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, I respond that we need to be compassionate, be able to talk to them about those thoughts, and direct them to a suicide help line (1-800-273-8255) , a mental health professional, or a hospital. We also can pray with them to find the strength and support to get them the medical care they need. But we need to be clear—prayer by itself will not cure mental illness. All too often people who are having suicidal thoughts feel ashamed that they are thinking of suicide and will not talk about it. Having suicidal thoughts is like having chest pains with a heart condition: both are critical medical warning signs—not moral failings or character flaws—and you need to get medical care as soon as possible. At one time the Church denied a funeral Mass to people who died by suicide. Fortunately as our understanding of mental illness and psychology has improved, the Church has developed a more nuanced and compassionate teaching about suicide. While the Church continues to teach that suicide is wrong, the Catechism of the Catholic Church now states that “Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to Him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.” (2280–2283) We can grieve for our loved ones who died by suicide by remembering who they are. So often people who have a mental illness are known as their illness. People say that “she is bipolar” or “he is schizophrenic.” Please do not use those phrases. People who have cancer are not cancer; those with diabetes are not diabetes. Our daughter Katie was not bipolar—she had an illness called bipolar disorder. Katie was a beautiful child of God.The way we talk about people and their illnesses affects the people themselves and how we treat the illness. In the case of mental illness there is so much fear, ignorance, and hurtful attitudes that the people who suffer from mental illness needlessly suffer further. Our society does not provide the resources that are needed to adequately understand and treat mental illness. In Katie’s case, she had the best medical care available, she always took the cocktail of medicines that she was prescribed, and she did her best to be healthy and manage this illness. Yet that was not enough. Someday a cure will be found, but until then we need to support and be compassionate to those with mental illness every bit as much as we support those who suffer from cancer, heart disease, or any other illness. Please know that Katie was a sweet, wonderful person who loved life, the people around her, and Jesus Christ. Download this article as a PDF here. Ed Shoener is a deacon in the Diocese of Scranton. He is the founder of the Catholic Mental Health Institute and the Katie Foundation. The obituary he wrote for his daughter Katie after she died by suicide went viral and brought awareness to mental health issues. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you're having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). If you are located outside the United States, call your local emergency line immediately. With the help of professionals and those who have struggled with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues, we’re offering insights, resources, and suggestions for a path to healing and a road to hope in the midst of dark and scary times.

Tuesday, April 08, 2025

Spiritual Direction vs. Therapy

Spiritual Direction vs. Therapy by Rev. Joshua J. Whitfield Spiritual direction or therapy? Knowing the difference and which to choose matters. Interest in spiritual direction, in what St. Gregory Nazianzen called the “art of arts,” has only grown since Vatican II. It’s the fruit of the Council’s reemphasis on the universal call to holiness, meant for “all the faithful,” the renewal of Christ’s call to perfection (LG 5.40; Mtt 5:48). However, today when collectively we’re more alert to the reality of mental health, we run into confusion due to the similarity of spiritual direction and things like therapy. As Henri Nouwen put it, the difficulty is that spiritual direction and therapy “often appear to be one and the same thing” when in fact they’re not. The idea of therapy, of counseling, the concern for brain health and mental health are indeed similar horizons of human understanding and compassion, but they are distinct from spiritual direction and should be kept so because therapy and spiritual direction serve different purposes: the former integration and the latter vocation. First about spiritual direction, it helps to remember, as Thomas Merton wrote, that it’s a “monastic concept.” Ancient and Egyptian in origin, the art of spiritual direction was formed among men and women monastics struggling to serve God in the desert. Apart from community, these men and women needed trustworthy guides to help them stay the spiritual course. Spiritual direction was meant in this context to help a person fulfill his or her unique vocation, the ultimate purpose of which was union with God. Identifying graces as well as temptations and consolations as well as struggles, the spiritual director helps a person follow a particular vocation of prayer, whether a monk or a mom. This is why the Catechism of the Catholic Church calls spiritual directors “servants of prayer,” because that’s what they do (CCC 2690). They help us find Christ in prayer and in our lives. Which begins to explain both the difference and relationship of spiritual direction to therapy. As I said, therapy is about, what from Jungian psychology, we call integration. Rooted in what the ancients, and later Freud, called the “talking cure,” therapy in its different forms helps a person integrate behaviors, emotions, conceptions (or misconceptions), issuing from both the conscious and unconscious elements of the psyche, into a healthy understanding of the self in relation to reality. Processing childhood trauma, understanding emotions, managing depression or anxiety, even interpersonal problem solving are areas in which a therapist helps a person realize what Jung called “individuation”—the achievement of a healthy self in relation to the rest of the world. And, so, the relationship of spiritual direction to therapy is best understood in terms of the relationship of integration to vocation, that the former serves the latter. Integration isn’t a matter for spiritual direction, but therapy. A good spiritual director will encourage a directee to seek integration, sometimes with the help of a qualified therapist, because it serves the vocation of prayer. Therapy can help a person do a lot of things better and more healthily, prayer included. But, also, a good therapist will respect the healthy faith of his or her clients, open at least to the idea that there might be something like grace perfecting nature, aware that therapy is not an end but rather an instrument. Therapists and spiritual directors, ideally, should work in harmony because both serve human flourishing, health and ultimately the perfection of holiness in spirit, soul, and body (2 Thess 5:23). Download this article as a PDF here. Rev. Joshua Whitfield is pastor of St. Rita Catholic Community in Dallas, Texas. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you're having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). If you are located outside the United States, call your local emergency line immediately. With the help of professionals and those who have struggled with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues, we’re offering insights, resources, and suggestions for a path to healing and a road to hope in the midst of dark and scary times.

Tuesday, April 08, 2025

Alone Time in a Stressful World

by Robert J. Wicks Author Anne Lamott once wrote, “Almost anything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes . . . including you.” Her words came to mind for me when I was up on Capitol Hill speaking to some members of Congress and then a larger group of their chiefs of staff. I heard that when one senator was asked, “What is the greatest challenge facing the American Congress today?” he replied, “Not enough time to think.” I believe the same can be said about our spiritual life. The challenge for most of us is that we think that “alone time” (time spent in silence and solitude or simply being quietly reflective even when in a group) is a luxury. However, without it we cease to be able to enjoy and share freely the gift of life given to us by God. Alone time also provides us with the psychological and spiritual inner space to breathe and simply be. Yet many of us resist such time. This is because, during those quiet periods, we create a mental vacuum. Since nature abhors vacuums, often the information in our preconscious, that mental area just below our level of awareness, rises into our consciousness. We are able to see more clearly the fears, games, worries, anxieties, anger, lack of faith, and desires that are lying just beyond our normal thinking. People sometimes get upset during quiet moments when this information rises to the surface. However, this should not be so because the only memories that will hurt us are the ones that are present just beyond our awareness and operate as invisible mental puppeteers. Also, if we truly believe in God’s love—or need to recognize that we don’t at this point—it is important to face all of our thoughts and beliefs while silently walking with the Lord in the garden of new possibilities. I always encourage people to take at least two minutes each day to sit in silence and solitude while wrapped in gratitude before God. If it helps, I suggest that a person first read a bit of sacred scripture or take a word to heart such as “gentleness” or “Mary” or “Jesus” and use that as a mantra. This frees us from rushing to our grave doing practical things while thinking this is the best way to live. I also ask people to mindfully walk with God in silence and enjoy the gifts that are around them—the trees in a rural area, the bustling energy of a city—instead of simply walking mindlessly in a cocoon of thought while missing God’s gifts and the signs that are present in the ordinary surroundings in which we live. People will often ask me, “Why spend only two minutes in silence and solitude?” and I respond, “Well, how long are you doing it now?” Just as in the case of physical exercise, regularity is more important than only sporadically doing it for longer periods. Hopefully, these two minutes will expand into more time as we take the following straightforward steps toward enhancing alone time in our lives: Give priority to alone time in your schedule. Stephen Covey said, “Don’t simply prioritize your schedule . . . schedule your priorities.” I have found that taking time in silence and solitude each morning is the most important way to center myself—especially during busy, dark periods. Use the spaces that are already there. There are many “crumbs of alone time” already in your schedule—the quiet moments before you jump out of bed in the morning, when in the shower, during a break in the day, at lunchtime, on the drive home, or just before you fall asleep. Expand the number of places where you can experience alone time. Instead of thinking you need a special place (church) to be quiet and grateful in front of the Lord, think of times when you are in traffic, in a line, sitting in a park or your office, or at night feeding milk to your child as holy places of alone time. Reflect with the right spirit. Anne Lamott once quipped, “My mind is like a bad neighborhood . . . I don’t like to go there alone.” In other words, make the world your church by always avoiding judging yourself, picking on others, or becoming discouraged. Instead, allow yourself to be intrigued even when you feel a negative sense about yourself, others, or the situation. Just start where you are. Enjoy quietly being with yourself and your environment and appreciate that all is gift. In the quiet, you may see more of the gifts that are around you. Alone time in the presence of God is the portal to a healthy perspective; it makes the whole world a church. Without it, the only time you will see what is really important is when someone is ill or dying or another tragedy befalls you. It is a shame to live like that when it is unnecessary and a waste of life . . . your own life. Download this article as a PDF here. Robert J. Wicks is professor emeritus at Loyola University Maryland. He received his doctorate in psychology from Hahnemann Medical College and presents on the themes of self-care, resilience, maintaining a healthy perspective and integrating psychology and spirituality. He is the author of a number of books including Riding the Dragon, Bounce: Living a Resilient Life, and Perspective: The Calm within the Storm. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you're having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). If you are located outside the United States, call your local emergency line immediately. With the help of professionals and those who have struggled with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues, we’re offering insights, resources, and suggestions for a path to healing and a road to hope in the midst of dark and scary times.

Tuesday, April 08, 2025

Why Mental Health?

by Katie Prejean McGrady Bishop James Conley of the Diocese of Lincoln recently announced he was taking a temporary leave of absence so he could focus on healing from depression, anxiety, chronic insomnia, and debilitating tinnitus. “It is has been difficult to accept that my mental health problems are real health problems and not just a defect of my character,” he said when announcing his sabbatical. I was struck by Conley’s vulnerability, especially since he is the leader of a large diocese which dealt with sexual abuse allegations against a deceased priest during the past eighteen months. Conley’s honesty also gives me great hope. People are talking more about mental health and making it a priority in their own lives. There seems to be less of a stigma attached to it as well. Even before Conley’s announcement, the Ave Explores team was already planning to tackle topics surrounding stress, anxiety, and mental health. The goal is to provide relevant and Catholic-focused information about mental health and to help those who are suffering find love and hope in the midst of those struggles. It hasn’t always been easy to talk about these issues. Many people carry a great sense of shame and self-doubt when it comes to matters of mental health. Fear and worry cause those who are already suffering from these issues ask questions such as, “Will people judge me for struggling with depression? Will they think less of me because I’m dealing with anxiety? Will my family treat me differently? Will coworkers and bosses rely less on me? Will friends avoid me?” These are thoughts that pass through the hearts and minds of many, if not most, folks who face challenges with stress, anxiety, and mental health issues. But here’s what’s most profound: pretty much everyone suffers from some kind of stress, anxiety, or mental health issue at some point in their lives. According to a 2019 study, almost half of adults will experience a mental illness during their lifetime, with half of all mental disorders beginning by age 14 and three quarters by age 24. In 2019, only 41 percent of the people who had a mental health issue received professional health care or other services. Mental health struggles, intense stress, and generalized anxiety are not isolated things that we can ignore because it may be inconvenient or uncomfortable to talk about. They are the norm for many at some point in their life. Having honest, open, vulnerable, helpful, and hopeful conversations about mental health should be a priority for all of us, especially Catholics. Catholicism is not a solution to problems of mental health, nor is religion a quick fix when it comes to legitimate struggles and diagnoses. However, Catholicism is a religion rooted in the love of Jesus Christ and the ministry of the Church is imminently concerned with the welfare and wellbeing of the people of God. Part of serving and loving those people is ensuring they are not only mentally healthy, but are able to find the help and care they need when they are struggling. Maybe you’ve dealt with depression, anxiety, or addiction? Maybe you’ve found yourself deep in the pit of despair, loneliness, fear, worry, and doubt? Maybe you’ve watched family members or friends struggle to find mental health and stability and you haven’t known what to say or how to help them? Maybe you’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death, grief so intense and real that getting out of bed in the morning isn’t a remote possibility? Maybe you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide, or struggled with suicidal thoughts yourself? Ave Explores will look at various questions related to stress, anxiety, and mental health, including: How can we have honest conversations about mental health? What are some fruitful pathways to health and healing? Where can we find hope, especially in the midst of grief and addiction? Why are we made for hope and healing? With the help of professionals and those who have struggled with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues, we’re offering insights, resources, and suggestions for a path to healing and a road to hope in the midst of dark and scary times. We’ve also asked our team of experts to provide resources for you to get more information. Download this article as a PDF here. If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you're having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). If you are located outside the United States, call your local emergency line immediately. With the help of professionals and those who have struggled with stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues, we’re offering insights, resources, and suggestions for a path to healing and a road to hope in the midst of dark and scary times.

Thursday, April 03, 2025

Ministering to Today’s Teens

By Robert Feduccia Jr. When I was in graduate school for theology, one of my professors asked a question that left the class speechless: “What’s the mission of the Church?” Sometimes the most fundamental questions are the most difficult to answer. In its simplest terms, the Church is to continue the ministry of Jesus. In the Gospel of Matthew, chapters 4 and 9, Jesus’s ministry is described in three ways: Preaching, teaching, and healing. Many of us in ministry are primarily teachers of the faith. Our theology is solid and rings true in the hearts of those who profess the Catholic and apostolic faith. Most of us in ministry love Church teaching: We love to read it, talk about it, and articulate it to a new generation. This love is what drives us. The Church also is a great teacher and part of the ministry of Jesus. However, it is not the sum total of ministry and it seems that it misses the needs of today’s teens. Today’s teens are in need of healing. This is the first step and the essential work of evangelization. The early Church took root in the Roman Empire because it proclaimed the good news to the poor. It was the widow, the orphan, and the slave that heard and received the Gospel. This led to Christianity becoming the religion of the empire. It was good news because these groups felt unseen, uncared for, and abandoned. I wish I could explain this reaction, but when I talk with teens about isolation, loneliness, and despair, I see tears well up in their eyes. When I have asked young people about what is happening as I address these issues, the phrase I hear time and again is, “I feel seen.” In the early 1990s, REM released the song Everybody Hurts, which spoke to the generation of the time. My experience tells me that the pain is more widely spread and more deeply felt throughout this generation. Today’s teens need the Church to lead with the healing ministry of Jesus rather than his teaching ministry. Jesus preached the Kingdom of God. In Luke 4, he said that he came to bring good news to the poor. We are a prosperous society but our teens are feeling a poverty of isolation and loneliness. It’s been said that this is the most connected yet loneliest generation in human history. Evangelization is not going to be found in the effectiveness of our opening activity. The quality of our band and its video content is important, but it will not move hearts. The size and dynamism of our youth nights are proving to be ineffective for this generation. I meet countless youth ministers who tell me that what used to work isn’t working anymore and they don't know what’s on the horizon. Our programming is not going to evangelize this generation. We can no longer rely on having a large, captive audience to hear the passion we have for Christ and his Church. Pope Francis uses the language of becoming a Church of encounter. If we want to be big, we have to be small. Don’t try to evangelize a generation. Instead, bring good news to the loneliest teen that you see. Let them feel seen by you—by Jesus himself. Here are a few practical ways to reach teens today: First, don’t be afraid of teens. Many people are intimidated by teens. For some reason, people revert to their high school selves when interacting with teens. Go to them in confidence and know that an adult paying attention to them is a memorable experience. If you do not know what to say, t-shirt evangelism works best. Many teens like to wear t-shirts with writing on them. Concert, bands, sports teams, goofy sayings, memes: teens advertise what they’re interested in or what they think is funny. Ask them about their t-shirt. For example, if it is a band, ask them what songs you should listen to to get a good feel of what they’re like. Healing happens in the context of a relationship. Build a relationship. Second, know your memes. Teens communicate through memes and they circulate through memes. If you can use a meme in a presentation, you will forever have a friend. Third, always be ready as St. Peter says. Actively look for the ways that God is active in their lives and be ready to tell them when you see it. Teens do not think they are holy. In fact, many of them think they are far from God, even the good kids. Our job as ministers is to walk with them, to accompany them. When we get to know them and see into their lives, we will recognize God’s movement in them and help them see it too. Robert Feduccia Jr. is the vice president of Equipping the Saints, a division of Declan Weir Productions.

Thursday, April 03, 2025

Why Evangelize?

Throughout this Ave Explores series, we have been focusing on the what and why of evangelization. But often what drives us to commit to something in life is the why. Kevin Cotter, executive director of The Amazing Parish, reflects on the why of evangelization in his book Called: Becoming an Everyday Disciple in a Post-Christian World. Here’s an excerpt: Why Evangelize? We see many examples of disciple-making from Jesus and St. Paul in the New Testament. When they were faced with the question, “How can I best reach the entire world with the news of the Gospel?” making disciples was a key part of the answer. If we share their desire to evangelize, then how can we not seek to follow their example? And yet, this last step can be difficult. In a post-Christian world, simply living out our faith is hard enough. Sharing our faith takes even more courage. And being an example for others of how to live and share the faith seems almost impossible at times. Is it really necessary? When we decide to do difficult things, we may be tempted to give up in the face of obstacles. In those moments of doubt or frustration, we need motivation to keep going. We need to know why what we are doing is essential. Here are three reasons why making disciples is so important. REASON #1—DISCIPLE-MAKING ENSURES PEOPLE KEEP THE FAITH While we’ve been talking about discipleship in the context of evangelization, disciple-makers are important for the entire WIN-BUILD-SEND process from start to finish. This type of mentoring is essential as people come to faith and learn to live it out, especially in our post-Christian world. If you’ve been involved with ministry for any period of time, you’ve probably witnessed what happens without disciple-making. Maybe you’ve seen large numbers of people come to faith through conferences, retreats, Catholic education, sacramental prep, or youth ministry. Even though these events serve a great purpose, when we look back five years later, many times we wonder, “Where did all those people go?” As in the parable of the Sower, people hear the Word, “but the cares of the world, and the delight in riches, and the desire for other things, enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful” (Mk 4:19). One of the best ways to ensure that the Word isn’t choked is to place someone of faith in this person’s life. Someone who can walk with them through good times and bad. Someone who can answer questions and give them practical answers. Someone who can call them to something greater when they are beginning to give in to the world. Someone like a disciple-maker. While we might see great numbers and moving responses with large group events conducted by a charismatic leader, we have to seriously consider the long-term effects of using this method by itself. The power of mentorship is crucial for keeping the faith, and disciple-makers have the training to effectively help others over time. REASON #2—EVANGELIZATION IS TAUGHT AND MODELED At the end of the parable of the sower, Jesus notes what happens to those who are planted in good soil: “[They] hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold” (Mk 4:20). This parable sums up the life of the Christian— we are all called to evangelize. As Pope John Paul II made clear, “No believer in Christ, no institution of the Church can avoid this supreme duty: to proclaim Christ to all peoples” (Redemptoris Missio, 3). Many Catholics don’t evangelize because they don’t know how or are too afraid. Sharing the faith must be learned by watching someone else do it. By seeing someone model evangelization, we realize that it is possible in a very practical way. Disciple-makers model evangelization for others so that they can share the faith with others (and also show others how it’s done). This seems like the only reasonable way that we can bear fruit thirty-, sixty-, or a hundredfold. REASON #3—DISCIPLE-MAKERS CAN FULFILL GOD’S PROMISES As we seek to fulfill God’s desire to preach the Gospel to everyone on earth, we should recall that there are almost eight billion people alive today, and this number continues to grow. How can we reach them all? One of the coolest things about disciple-making is that it allows the faith to grow exponentially. This exponential aspect creates a reasonable way to reach everyone on earth, as God desires. Let’s look at the math. Let’s say that someone made three disciples in a year, and then the next year those three disciples made three disciples each. After two years, there would be twelve new disciples, which isn’t all that impressive compared to eight billion people. But let’s fast-forward to see how this method works over time. Keep in mind that each disciple makes only three other disciples. In other words, an individual doesn’t keep making disciples year after year; they just make disciples once. After five years, there would be 243 disciples. After ten years, more than 59,000. Then, after fifteen years, 14 million. After twenty years, more than 3 billion. And, after thirty years, more than 10 billion people. This kind of exponential growth is powerful. I realize that humans aren’t perfect and that conversion and discipleship don’t always happen quickly. But if we are going to reach the entire world with the Gospel, exponential growth is essential. (Note that exponential growth doesn’t have to happen just with individuals. It can also happen through communities and groups who work together to see people come to faith and raise them up to reach others.) Imagine if someone made more than a million disciples in one year. That would be an amazing movement of the Holy Spirit! But, even after thirty years, the result would be only 100 million Christians. The world adds 130 million souls to our planet each year. Even if someone made 100 million disciples each year, they wouldn’t be able to keep up. While God can reach the world however he likes (he once converted 9 million Mexicans through Our Lady of Guadalupe), one practical way that we can reach everyone in the world is if all Catholics respond to their call to evangelize and to take up the task of making disciples. Remember, this isn’t just some human method made up in the twenty-first century to efficiently reach the world; it was Jesus’ own method from the beginning! God had a master plan for evangelizing the world that he modeled for us on earth. We are called to follow his example. Making disciples is not easy. There will be trials. There will be setbacks. There will be failure. But it’s worth it! This excerpt from Called: Becoming an Everyday Disciple in a Post-Christian World by Kevin Cotter is printed with permission of Ave Maria Press, the publisher.