Are you a Catholic confused about how to find your true love? Do you want to work on a current dating relationship, preparing it for engagement and marriage? How do you spot red flags in yourself and your potential spouse?
Jennifer Roback Morse and Betsy Kerekes offer advice for all stages of your relationship in their new book, 101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person. They shared their inspiration and aspirations for the book with Ave.
Ave Maria Press: What’s the most important thing you want readers to come away with after reading 101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person?
Jennifer Roback Morse: “There is hope for finding the right person. Dodge the bullets of the stupid stuff that society is suggesting for you. The Church has better answer than the culture.”
Betsy Kerekes: “Confidence that it can be done—that they can find the right person for them and that they can make a well-informed decision about whether the person they’re with is or is not the right one.”
Ave: What was your inspiration for writing this book?
Morse: “We felt we had to try and help the number of really good young people who are eligible and interested in marriage but who cannot find spouses. The success of 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage made us believe that we could help people.”
Kerekes: “I literally dreamed this book. I woke up immediately from thinking of what I would write in it and called Jennifer. She asked me my ideas, which were a few things I remembered from my Christian Marriage class at Franciscan University of Steubenville. Then she said something to the effect of, ‘Okay, let’s do it.’ I pulled a lot from my experience at Steubenville, more from how my fellow students and I behaved than anything. I also utilized the experiences of various people I’ve met since then, not knowing I’d filed away their stories for this purpose—to help others learn from them in their own search for a spouse.”
Ave: Is this book geared more toward a certain age group or is it applicable to anyone in any stage of life looking to build a strong and lasting relationship?
Morse: “The book is primarily targeted towards young adults aged 18-30, but we are well aware that people of all ages may be looking for spouses and trying to dodge the cultural bullets. We had them in mind as well. We have a brief message to people who may be purchasing this book for young friends who are searching for spouses: we encourage those people to try to create more opportunities for young people to gather, so they have a chance to socialize and meet each other.”
Kerekes: “I would say anyone. As I wrote, I was thinking of college students, but that may not be noticeable. I’m certain these tips are applicable for anyone. We even included some special tips for older seekers or those for whom it won’t be their first marriage. There’s definitely something for everyone.”
Ave: This book is similar in style to your first book with Ave, 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage. What makes this format appealing?
Morse: “The beauty of this book is that it is easy to read and easy to digest. A person can take one tip, implement it, and begin to see real progress.”
Kerekes: “The utility of it. It’s so handy and easy to use. If this can be considered a self-help book, its unique quality is that it’s not long-winded. It cuts to the chase as in: This is what you need to do and why. As with the first book, 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage, it gives simple, bite-sized pieces of advice that anyone can easily handle and implement. They’re also easier to remember because the meat of our message isn’t hidden in a lot of excess verbiage.”
Ave: What are some of the unique features of this book?
Morse: “Instead of reporting on the studies showing that cohabitation is harmful, we speak to the couple that may already be cohabiting. We tell them, ‘The research suggests that you are at risk for certain kinds of problems. Here are some things to watch out for.’ I don’t know of any other marriage prep resource that takes this perspective.”
